EGADS? WHAT NEXT?
Things sure happen fast nowadays,
With so much science here.
It wasn't long ago that they
Said, "Give your orchids beer."
Now if it wasn't bad enough,
To teach our plants to drink,
They tell us not to have bad thoughts,
Because our plants can think!
One has to be most cautious now,
This I can plainly see.
For man has recently found out,
That plants have ESP.
We'll have to treat them tenderly,
And see that we don't vex.
For if we do,
they'll likely get A very bad complex.
So if a plant of yours won't bloom,
Just pick it up and say,
"I'm sorry I've offended you,
Won't you forgive me, pray?
I'll put you in the choicest spot,
And give you lots of room,
So please, oh please, I beg of you,
Won't you relent and bloom?"
From Orchids In My Greenhouse -- Crabgrass In My Lawn
By Clarence S. Lindsten